Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
