Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
