Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?

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  (773): How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom? http://tfl.nu/o0zg
  Replies (42) Good night (1904) Bad night (5430)
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  (925): View more from California

  I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??

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  (925): I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing?? http://tfl.nu/da8e
  Replies (14) Good night (3690) Bad night (875)
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  (516): View more from New York

  They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.

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  (516): They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were. http://tfl.nu/skxs
  Replies (5) Good night (5285) Bad night (923)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?

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  (403): Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch? http://tfl.nu/fqqa
  Replies (6) Good night (2776) Bad night (1527)
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  (310): View more from California

  Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.

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  (310): Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention. http://tfl.nu/i2tc
  Replies (17) Good night (2743) Bad night (4396)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.

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  (816): We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have. http://tfl.nu/xov4
  Replies (9) Good night (1832) Bad night (458)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.

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  (404): Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/r7qw
  Replies (10) Good night (2081) Bad night (527)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Omg sara

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty

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  (920): I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3 (906): Omg sara (920): I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty http://tfl.nu/fytc
  Replies (8) Good night (1591) Bad night (499)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.

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  (913): He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me. http://tfl.nu/52qd
  Replies (3) Good night (690) Bad night (1454)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here

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  (740): She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here http://tfl.nu/x0jk
  Replies (4) Good night (353) Bad night (714)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.

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  (410): It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station. http://tfl.nu/qovz
  Replies (1) Good night (464) Bad night (622)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.

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  (206): If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever. http://tfl.nu/y5vi
  Replies (1) Good night (492) Bad night (188)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.

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  (304): You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish. http://tfl.nu/ubba
  Replies (12) Good night (981) Bad night (251)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"

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  (913): The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual" http://tfl.nu/c1s6
  Replies (1) Good night (769) Bad night (211)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor

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  (205): he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor http://tfl.nu/c6qy
  Replies (4) Good night (542) Bad night (336)

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