That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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