Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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