arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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