After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair