im drinking this country out of the recession.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize