oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
