it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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