All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
