I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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