Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize