this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
