i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
