I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
