we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
