when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
