But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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