After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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