I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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