K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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