so that wasnt chicken after all
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize