dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
