ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
