I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize