Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
