i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
