I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
