put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
