oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
