To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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