We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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