He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
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I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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