i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
