Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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