My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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