lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
