I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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