if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
