So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
