Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
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I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
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All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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