she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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