anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
