have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
