Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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