I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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