i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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