meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
