why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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