also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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