Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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