I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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