I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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