Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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