I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
