I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
