Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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