u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
