how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
