i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
