how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
