It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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