I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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