Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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