dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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